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[personal profile] tacuma
I wrote a fic for [profile] elysis to thank her for the beautiful lay-out she made for me!

She wanted an angsty fic, based on the song 'Where would we be now' by Good Charlotte. I used the lyrics of the song in the fic, but it's not really angsty. I tried to make it angsty, but it's difficult for me to write angst ^_^"

For everyone who doesn't know the song, you can find the lyrics here 


Title: Where would we be now?
Writer: Tacuma811
Pairing: TezukaFuji
Rating: PG
Warning: None
Word count:
1211 words
Disclaimer: I do not own Prince of Tennis nor do I own the song ‘Where would we be now’.

Summary: Tezuka realises he is in love with Fuji, but Fuji has a relationship with Saeki.


Where would we be now?

‘You should give up, Tezuka.’

‘No Oishi, I won’t give up.’

‘You’re wasting your time. Can’t you see Fuji is happy with Saeki? Why can’t you accept that? You should leave him alone. He doesn’t love you and he probably won’t love you in the future either.’

‘You don’t know that. I have patience.’

I’ll wait

oO0Oo

I smile, you laugh, I look away

Fuji sighed.

‘What’s wrong Syuusuke?’

A smile. ‘It’s nothing, I’m just feeling down a little.’

‘That’s not like you, Syuu. Come on, I’m your boyfriend, you can tell me! No, let me guess: Tezuka was staring at you again today?’

‘Sorry Kojiroh, I don’t love him anymore, you know I love you. I only wonder why he keeps looking at me like that.’

oO0Oo

Tezuka sighed. He sat on his bed and stared out of his window, into the dark night. There were no stars, no moon. The sky was filled with black clouds. The wind was blowing around the house and blew the clouds away, only to bring even darker clouds.

Why hadn’t he realized he was in love with Fuji, until the blue-eyed angel told him he was together with Saeki? Three years together in middle school, two years together in high school. Why hadn’t he realised earlier what he really felt for Fuji? Best friends since the day they met. What would have happened, where would they be now, if they had fallen in love on that first day?

Where would we be now,

if we found each other first?

He shouldn’t have told Oishi. Or…was Oishi right? Was it really too late now? Should he give up? Tezuka sighed again and closed his curtains to hide himself from the darkness outside. What should he do? Should he confess? Should he tell Fuji how he felt? Should he risk his friendship with Fuji?

And now I must confess

That I am a sinking ship

Not now. Just let him be, let him be together with Saeki. Let him be happy. Just wait, maybe they will break up, maybe he will leave Saeki. Then he can tell, then he can confess his feelings. Not now, not yet.

I’ll wait

I’ll wait

As long as you want.

oO0Oo

Fuji sighed. He stood before his open window, the wind blowing through his hair. He wished he could see the full moon and the stars, but they were hidden, hidden behind dark clouds. Like all the lights had left him.

Why does Tezuka keep staring at him. Staring in class, staring at tennis practice, staring when they were on walking home. Was Tezuka falling for him? Was it just his imagination? Should he ask him? What would Tezuka do? Would he walk away, would he answer, would they still be friends? And what if the Buchou was really in love with him? He is together with Kojiroh. He is in love with Kojiroh, right? He can’t love Tezuka anymore, he is together with Kojiroh now.

I'm anchored by the weight of my heart

cause its filled with these feelings

Fuji sighed again, sat down on his bed and grabbed one of his photo albums. The album with photos he made in middle school, the photos he made when they had won the Nationals, a photo of him and Tezuka. Three years together in middle school, two years together in high school. If Tezuka had kept staring like that in middle school, he would have had the courage, the courage to ask why he stared. But now? Would he ask? Would he take the risk?

I’ll wait

oO0Oo

Days, weeks, months passed, but the feelings didn’t change. The dark clouds in their minds didn’t disappear. There was no wind that blew them away, no wind that brought them the moon and the stars, no wind that brought them light.

Tezuka kept staring, kept looking at Fuji and sometimes Fuji would look back, stare back, while he thought about his feelings. Their friendship stayed the same, silent side by side, but they both knew it was different. Every time Fuji was with Saeki, Tezuka felt his heart ache. He felt like crying when he saw the other’s smile. Would Fuji ever love him back?

oO0Oo

‘Syuusuke, you are thinking about him again, aren’t you?’

‘I’m sorry, Kojiroh. I’m so sorry.’

Tears, a hug and a small smile.

’I knew it from the beginning. He better not break your heart.’

oO0Oo

Tennis practice, like everyday. Fuji played a practice match against Inui. Tezuka was watching, was staring again, from behind the fence, Oishi standing beside him.

‘After all those months, you still haven’t give up, ne, Tezuka?’

‘No. I told you I won’t give up.’

‘You can’t do anything as long as he is together with Saeki. You can’t tell him.

‘No.’

So I stand and wait

‘Game Fuji. Six games to love!’

‘Fuji, there is an 82 per cent change that you’re not feeling well. You played different than usual. You would never show me the real Fuji Syuusuke. So, care to tell me what’s wrong?’

‘You don’t know the real Fuji Syuusuke, Inui.’

I keep my true thought locked

beside my hearts black box

Tezuka watched the two of them. Inui was right. Fuji was acting different. He didn’t play like he usually did, he didn’t tease Inui for losing badly, he was not joking with Kikumaru, he didn’t show his real smile, he didn’t smile at all. Something was wrong with him. It looked like he was sad, it looked like he felt down. He looked like he felt the same as Tezuka; lost and sad, like he was drowning. Had it something to do with Tezuka? Had he noticed how Tezuka looked at him, had he found out his buchou’s feelings?

It wont be found, it wont be found

through the smoke or the wreckage.

‘Fuji, stay after practice. I have to talk to you.’

‘Yes Tezuka.’

oO0Oo

Everyone left, except the two of them, left behind, together in the clubroom.

‘I broke up with Kojiroh.’

Tezuka’s eyes widened, he didn’t know what to say. He always wanted Fuji to break up, but now he felt sorry for his friend, who looked like he was in pain. He had promised himself he would tell, he would confess if Fuji left Saeki. Would Fuji get angry? He just broke up. Was it the right time?

What would you do now,

if I said these simple words

‘I’m sorry.’

‘It’s okay, I was the one who broke up with him.’

A fake smile quickly disappeared.

‘Fuji…’

‘Tezuka…’

Where would we be now,

if we found each other first

Tezuka grabbed Fuji’s hand.

‘Fuji, I…’

Your hand on mine I hear the words...

‘I love you.’

A small smile, a hug and tears of happiness in unearthly blue eyes.

‘I love you too.’

If only love had found us first,

our lives would be different

More than enough, more than enough time to be happy together, together from now on, together after five years. No more unspoken words, no more silence, no more locked feelings, no more sadness, no more waiting and no more clouds.

Our lives will be different,

our lives will be better.




Hope you liked it Elysis-chan!

(no subject)

23/8/08 11:54 (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] elysis.livejournal.com
I loved it! And I love you Ann-chan! *hugs*
I liked the slight angsty, and I liked the happy ever after in the end! It matched the lyrics very much, written in a very simple and straight-forward way, yet full of emotions. Fuji never stopped loving Tezuka, even he was in a relationship with Saeki. However, I felt sory for Saeki. ^^;

Thank you very much for your brilliant fic! :)

(no subject)

23/8/08 12:17 (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] tacuma811.livejournal.com
I'm really glad you like it!!!
It was difficult to write angst, but my beta told me how I could make it more angsty! I'm glad you think it matched the lyrics. The song hasn't a happy end, and I wanted a happy end, so I mixed the lyrics and tried to make my own version ^_^"

Yeah, poor Saeki. I feel sorry for him too. But he'll be happy with Yuuta XD

Thank you Ely-chan! ^_~

(no subject)

23/8/08 14:25 (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] elysis.livejournal.com
Yeah, the song was sad. I'm glad you made it a happy ending despite the sad lyrics. :)

He'll be happy with Yuuta? Are you intend to pair Saeki up with Yuuta? xD

(no subject)

23/8/08 17:14 (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] tacuma811.livejournal.com
I couldn't give it a sad ending XD I just love Tezuka and Fuji too much to give them a sad ending XD

I won't write a sequel or something, but I think Yuuta and Saeki make a good couple ^___^

(no subject)

23/8/08 12:54 (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] lovefujitez.livejournal.com
Ann-chan this is beautiful...Tezuka is so patient and dedicated to Fuji. It's great Fuji realized his feelings, even though it meant hurting Saeki.

But love is never fair in the first place especially when others try to go between Tezuka-Fuji love! can't believe I just wrote that! hehehehe...sorry just very happy and tired as well...but free to write now....yay! and read fics!
Edited 23/8/08 12:54 (UTC)

(no subject)

23/8/08 17:16 (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] tacuma811.livejournal.com
Thank you! I'm really glad you like it!
I think Tezuka is a patient guy. If he wants something and he can't get it immediately, he'll wait and work for it.

I feel kinda sorry for Saeki >__< But he knows Fuji loves Tezuka, it was better to let him go. Saeki won't try to go between Tezuka and Fuji! XD
Read, write, have fun! XD

(no subject)

23/8/08 18:39 (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] lovefujitez.livejournal.com
But Tezuka should have acted on it sooner, so he didn't have to waste the years between them...but I guess being a fool-hearted gentleman that he is, he respects Fuji's choices and waits.

Oy, it is consoling to know how relationships evolve and how the two eventually ends up with each other in the end.

Saeki....he'll be alright, I guess and no matter what he plans to do, or any other men, for the matter, to come between these two - it would be a vwasted effort!

doing a lot of reading...*cries* can't write.... CHIBI FUJI WHERE ARE YOU?
...can't believe this, he's gone somewhere again....argh!

(no subject)

23/8/08 19:45 (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] tacuma811.livejournal.com
Yeah, but Tezuka is a little slow with things like love. He is a little naive and too innocent, that's why he realises he love Fuji when Fuji has a relationship with Saeki! But he is indeed a gentleman and he won't ruin their relationship on purpose.

Tezuka and Fuji are just made for each other, they'll always end up together ^___^

Yeah, Saeki will be alright. He will survive, he will find another one to love (like Yuuta XD). He knew from the beginning that Fuji was still in love with Tezuka.

Chibi Fuji is gone? I'll help you with searching! We must find him, or you can't write anymore! That would be...a disaster! *starts searching for chibi Fuji

(no subject)

24/8/08 06:42 (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] lovefujitez.livejournal.com
Found chibi Fuji. I have this wood pedestal for a perfume bottle, I used as a stand for Tezuka plushie and his mini Fuji (well one of the mini Fujis) because I was playing around last night with them rpg after I completed my paper and waiting for the confirmation of my submission...so I had the mini Fuji standing on the pedestal and Tezuka went goo-goo ga-ga just standing infront of mini Fuji admiring him like some god(dess) of some sort. Well chibi Fuji wanted to find a pedestal for him and they were searching for one...didn't find one but I told him he has his plush cushion to sit on and he's seem happy - for now.

Well after having Fuji, I don't think he is that naive and innocent anymore... (noticing Tezuka plushies blushing) but I do admire his gentle comportment and patience.

I couldn't agree with you more - Tezuka and Fuji will stay together forever...unless we write fics about breaking up....hmmm...

SMACK! Ow! Fuji...here we go again *feels bump in forehead*

(no subject)

24/8/08 10:17 (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] tacuma811.livejournal.com
I'm glad you found chibi Fuji! Such a nice boy, helps Tezuka with searching for a pedestal! But he should tell you next time where he goed, so you don't have to worry about him!

XD So true, he is not innocent anymore, but before he was with Fuji, he was a little naive and innocent XD But he will always be gentle and he will always have patience, he has to be patient if he wants to live with Fuji! XD

Chibi Fuji doesn't want it them to break up!
I won't write about them breaking up! I just can't do that! XD

(no subject)

24/8/08 13:42 (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] lovefujitez.livejournal.com
no he didn't like that...but he's too quick to react then later realizes it's just a silly thought...but i guess he doesn't even want to think that way and I kind of understand...I would be placing him in such a lonely frame of mind if I write such fics...

(no subject)

24/8/08 17:55 (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] tacuma811.livejournal.com
You shouldn't write such fics, shouldn't even think about it. Fuji will be lonely and sad, his smile will dissapear and we don't want that to happen! He just needs Tezuka.

(no subject)

24/8/08 21:32 (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] lovefujitez.livejournal.com
it's ok, no worries, chat with chibi Fuji about a new story that I want to look into for a b-day fic and he likes it...so hopefully it will be interesting enough. Chibi Fuji is actually excited about it...ok...ok...ok... gomen
he's telling me to hurry and get started with the writing...urgh...my muse could be a pain sometimes!

off writing....

(no subject)

25/8/08 08:04 (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] tacuma811.livejournal.com
If chibi Fuji is excited about it, it has to be an interesting story!!

(no subject)

23/8/08 15:58 (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] chibikaoruchan.livejournal.com
*Teary eyes* I love your Tezuka... just like Junn-chan said, he is so patient and loving! (And so naive for not even noticing Fuji knew he was staring at him.)

I love the comparison with the dark clouds that hunted them. And I thought it would be a sad ending, but YESH THEY ARE TOGETHER~~ Really awesome job, Ann-chan. ^^

(no subject)

23/8/08 17:20 (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] tacuma811.livejournal.com
*Huggles* Thank you!! Yes, Tezuka is patient, he will wait forever for Fuji, he'll do anything for Fuji. (You know Tezuka is naive and innocent XD)

I first wrote the fic without those clouds, but my beta said the fic needed more angst and emotions. The moment I read that it was really dark outside and it was raining, that's why I used those dark clouds XD

The song has a sad ending, but I didn't want that, so I mixed up the lyrics and made a happy ending for Tezuka and Fuji (and for us XD)

(no subject)

23/8/08 20:53 (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] jingy5.livejournal.com
aww man that was so *tear* sad.. i feel sry for Saeki but at least he realised early enough what was goin and helped to make/ keep Fuji happy
and of course we cant forget Tez.. patiently waiting for the day Fuji would be his.. that jus shows the kind of person he is *sigh*

(no subject)

24/8/08 10:08 (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] tacuma811.livejournal.com
I feel sorry for Saeki too, but he knows that he can't make Fuji really happy, only Tezuka can do that, that's why he let him go.
Tezuka is a person who would wait. He wouldn't interfere in their relationship. He would have waited forever for Fuji! ^___^

Thanks for reading!!! ^__^

(no subject)

24/8/08 06:26 (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] mitsu-syusuke.livejournal.com
i love this!
i'm afraid it will be a sad ending...
and i think saeki needs a hug, such a good guy he is...*hugs him*

(no subject)

24/8/08 10:10 (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] tacuma811.livejournal.com
Thank you! I'm glad you liked it! ^___^
The song has a sad ending, but I didn't want that, so I turned it into a happy ending! ^__^
Poor Saeki! Such a nice guy! *hugs him too*

(no subject)

24/8/08 18:29 (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] dark-kana.livejournal.com
*loud squeel*
so CUTE!!!
gonna reread it!!! XD
Felt sorry for Saeki, I really did, but I am soooo glad tezuka and fuji got together! finaly, after 5 yers... XD
lovely story! wonderfully written!!

(no subject)

25/8/08 08:00 (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] tacuma811.livejournal.com
THANK YOU!!!
Yeah, poor Saeki, but he wants Fuji to ben happy!
Tezuka is a little slow, ne? XD It took him 5 years before he noticed he was in love with Fuji!

(no subject)

26/8/08 10:37 (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] dark-kana.livejournal.com
you're welcome... XD
*huggles the silver haired player* Yeah, poor him! but indeed, he wants Fuji to be happy... XD And Fuji can only be happy with Tezuka... So... XDD
yes, very slow! 5 years for heaven's sake... *rolls eyes* XD

(no subject)

26/8/08 10:57 (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] tacuma811.livejournal.com
Saeki, shall I pair you up with Yuuta? XD XD You will be Fuji's brother in law! XD

(no subject)

26/8/08 18:35 (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] dark-kana.livejournal.com
oh! please do! SaekiYuuta is really cute! (Would love to read a sequel with that pairing! XD Don't forget to include TeFu as well... XD)

(no subject)

26/8/08 18:39 (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] tacuma811.livejournal.com
I don't think I can make a sequel, will be difficult to make one. But a few months ago I started a fic with SaekiYuuta and TezuFuji. I never finished it, because my muse left me, but maybe I should read it again, maybe I can finish it now! ^__^

(no subject)

26/8/08 18:50 (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] dark-kana.livejournal.com
:'( I would have loved to read the sequel to that one... XD

Oh! Please, do finish that one (when your muse returns! *catches the muse and sends her flying right back to you*)
I would love to read about those 2 couples again... Such a long time ago since I last read another SaekiYuuta... *scurries of in search of said pairing*

XDDDDD

(no subject)

27/8/08 11:58 (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] tacuma811.livejournal.com
You're not the only one who wanted a sequel. I tried, but I have no inspiration.

Thanks for cathing my muse! XD I'll take a look at it today or tomorrow. I hope I can finish it! I've never written SaekiYuuta before!

(no subject)

28/8/08 10:54 (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] dark-kana.livejournal.com
XD Listen to your reviewers! XD
well, do write a sequel, should you find some inspiration... I also got one story like that. It contained 2 chapters, and there were some who asked for a 3rd one... And I really don't have the inspiration for a 3rd chapter... So I told them that that next chapter would probably never arrive, but who knows... perhaps one day I'll get the inspiration for it... and then I promissed I would write it... XD

you're welcome! I hope she brings back your inspiration... XD
I hope you can finish it too!! I'd really love to read it!! XD
SaekiYuuta really is a cute couple! I think I've written one or two stories... Am not entirely sure... But what I do know is that I really have to write more about that pairing!! *or were it 1 or 2 SaekiSyusuke stories... and did I not yet write a SaekiYuuta... o_O I really should check out what I've written again... XD;;;;;*

(no subject)

28/8/08 11:53 (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] tacuma811.livejournal.com
I know, but it's difficult to write a sequel. I used a song to write this fic, so I guess I need another song if I would write a sequel.

I read my fic and changed some things, but I still have no idea how I should end it >__< I'll think about it some more, I want to finish the fic.
Haha, you forgot what kind of fics you wrote? XD XD

(no subject)

28/8/08 05:38 (UTC)
ext_33114: (Real)
Posted by [identity profile] a1y-puff.livejournal.com
Angst fic with happy ending is LOVE <333
I like it! the way Tezuka is soooo loyal to his love for Fuji, and yes, the comparison with the dar clouds is nice :D
story-wise, this is lovely <3

If I may add a bit con-crit, I think the emotion would flow better if you variated the wordings, and add more descriptions. there's a tendency of "after this, then this, and then this..." and I kinda felt like the flow is a bit... err... not-so-smooth.. *fails to find the right word in english*
Well, I'm sorry if I talk nonsense, I just think hat this fic could be better but it's difficult to explain in english TT_TT

anyway, love it <3
us hould write more angst XD

(no subject)

28/8/08 08:12 (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] tacuma811.livejournal.com
Thank you!!! ^___^
Glad you like it!

I know, but I just suck at writing angst and my English vocabulary is much smaller than my Dutch one. If I use a dictionary, it will look weird. I don't really like the fic, but my beta said it was good, so I posted it.

Angst really doesn't like me! XD
Maybe I'll try to write more angst, but I gotta finish DT3 first!

(no subject)

28/8/08 11:54 (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] speadee.livejournal.com
Kaidou bullied the first years at the beginning. He was about to hit them if they didn't clear the path for him when he could have just walked around them. He is antisocial, but it's not right to threaten others. In the Fudomine match, he would have hit Kamio if Captain Tezuka didn't stop him. Then again, Kamio provoked him. Still, like Kamio said, he had a bad attitude during the match. All this just gave me a bad impression on Kaidou. Most of the fights with Momoshiro began with his arrogant remarks. My bad impression increased in the middle of Episode 52. It was when Oishi approached the first years and told them not to keep talking about Momoshiro's absence. Afterwards, they were saying how they were lucky it had been Oishi instead of Kaidou, or they would have been hit.

It's good that Echizen sucks at doubles, but they also had him win when he played doubles in the District Tournament. They should of have him and Momoshiro lost that match. Then again, the Gyokurin players were also being arrogant. I've noticed that most of the players Echizen faced were also arrogant, making Echizen seem like a nice guy by winning against them. They should have put Echizen against some nice players and lose to them. As we were saying, they should have made him lose to Captain Yukimura, and if not, Captain Tezuka should have faced Captain Yukimura. They also should have Captain Tezuka win against Captain Atobe in the 1st round of the Kantou Tournament.

They never showed Captain Tezuka playing a real doubles game so we can't tell if he's good at it or not. I think he would at least cooperate. If he can't play doubles, he might ask the Golden Pair for help.

It's good to use fans, and one way would be to have a question and answer session. Another way is to have fans fill out surveys.

I've noticed that many songs are sad. I try not to listen to sad songs, but there are some that are just good, probably because of the music, not the content.

It looks like Sengoku ended up being the right choice. All the other funny characters will just mess things up. Actually, Sengoku almost messed things up at times, but fortunated Captain Tezuka was with him.

I try to avoid sad fics, because they're too hard for me to handle, especially when I'm physically affected.

It is hard to write about Fuji using the potion on the Golden Pair in that story. Maybe you could write it in another story, probably a sequel. Inui's green notebooks are almost like diaries. I just thought he chose a pink diary for his love life, because the color fits.

I understand that the lockers were necessary for the stories. I'm wondering how Inui fit all those locks into only 1 lock space. Schools in the U.S. also have lockers.

(no subject)

29/8/08 08:20 (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] tacuma811.livejournal.com
Okay, you're right, Kaidoh isn't such a nice guy, but I just love him, I can't help it. He is so funny and so cute ^___^

I was glad that Momo and Echizen won that match ^___^ I didn't like the Gyokurin players at all.
I wish Tezuka had won against Atobe. I was so sad when he lost that match >___<

Yeah, it's easy for him to let his fans tell him what to write. I don't know if he speaks English, but if he doesn't, there are people who can help him.

I love sad songs, so beautiful. They make me feel better when I'm sad ^__^

Sengoku can be a little bit....stupid sometimes ^___^ Love that about him! But Tezuka will make sure nothing goes wrong!

I don't think Fuji needs the potion to bring the Golden Pair together XD They're already a couple XD XD
I don't really like pink, but it's a good color for love XD

Yes, schools in the U.S. have lockers too, but those lockers are different from the lockers in the Netherlands. We use a key to open them.

(no subject)

8/9/08 01:50 (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] eimaru.livejournal.com
WOW SAEKI?? O__O' i thought they were just friends ... ^^' ur fics r always so good ... although its shounen ai ^^' good job sempai!

(no subject)

8/9/08 15:24 (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] tacuma811.livejournal.com
XD XD Yes, Saeki XD Guess they are just good friends, but I needed them to be together for this fic XD
I'm glad you like my fics, I'm glad you read them, I know you don't like shounen-ai ^__^

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