Angst fic with happy ending is LOVE <333 I like it! the way Tezuka is soooo loyal to his love for Fuji, and yes, the comparison with the dar clouds is nice :D story-wise, this is lovely <3
If I may add a bit con-crit, I think the emotion would flow better if you variated the wordings, and add more descriptions. there's a tendency of "after this, then this, and then this..." and I kinda felt like the flow is a bit... err... not-so-smooth.. *fails to find the right word in english* Well, I'm sorry if I talk nonsense, I just think hat this fic could be better but it's difficult to explain in english TT_TT
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28/8/08 05:38 (UTC)I like it! the way Tezuka is soooo loyal to his love for Fuji, and yes, the comparison with the dar clouds is nice :D
story-wise, this is lovely <3
If I may add a bit con-crit, I think the emotion would flow better if you variated the wordings, and add more descriptions. there's a tendency of "after this, then this, and then this..." and I kinda felt like the flow is a bit... err... not-so-smooth.. *fails to find the right word in english*
Well, I'm sorry if I talk nonsense, I just think hat this fic could be better but it's difficult to explain in english TT_TT
anyway, love it <3
us hould write more angst XD